My Life - His Life
by Shoyukine
Summary: Natsu Dragneel's a masochist. Nothing's worth living for him. His riches, he hates it. His reputation, he hates it. His so-called 'friends', he hates them more. All in one, he hates his life the most. He wants to die, even if there are people he cherishes in the very life he hates. He's forgetting what's most important, and a certain blonde wants to change that, in a way unexpected
1. Prologue

**A/N: YO! It's Sho!**

**I'm back with another story! *ducks from the incoming chair flying across the ceiling towards me***

**I AM SO SORRY! I know I shouldn't be making any other goddamn stories since I have too many to update bit frickin HEY! It's not my fault that I've been looking for a good drama fanfic for the last 2 weeks(and 3 days) and nearly pulled out half of my hair strands out of frustration! **

**I've fished out every motherfuckin' tragic, drama, hurt/comfort, angst, etc. fanfic I could find and believe me they were AWESOME! But for some fucked up reason they are all either not completed yet or discontinued, AND I'M FUCKING LEFT WITH A GAZILLION CLIFFHANGERS! JUST WHAT THE FUUUUKJCYGJHVBINMASDFGHJKLKJHGFDASDFGHJKLlkjhgfdsfghsdsf—**

***calm down Sho***

…**okay…OKAY…okay…**

**Alright…just…on with the story…**

**Disclaimer: …*throws a chair towards the audience***

* * *

**My Life – His Life**

**Prologue**

* * *

"I-I love you! P-Please accept this!" The brunette then bowed down in front of me with both her hands holding out a letter. A _love letter _that is, judging from how it was decorated with too many hearts and looking like it was splashed with a whole bottle of glitter. I sighed.

Unlike other guys my age who gets confessed to, my eyes stayed bored and dull as I watch the girl visibly start sweating. My eyes trailed from the letter down to her face, and not so surprisingly, she looked determined. I didn't really feel like being glared at today, so I just stood there, staring at her. She stared back at me, and I had to refrain myself from letting out another sigh.

The tension seemed to build up higher with each passing second she stood there waiting for me to take her exaggeratedly decorated pink envelope, but I didn't even bother to move, not even an inch. My right hand hung freely and still by my side while the other was stuffed into my pocket, both not making any kind of move towards her. I was hoping she got the hint that I didn't want it, but how she still looked at me fiercely said otherwise. This girl is definitely a stubborn one, and I'm not taking the blame for what's gonna happen next.

"No."

I was liked in school for being extraordinarily talented in sports, my looks, and my reputation. I was one of the popular guys, and it bothered me a lot just to know that. My grandfather owned a large company that I was to take over, and everyone knew about that. That's why a lot of people bow down to me like I'm some kind of god. A lot of 'em would hang around me just for attention, and a lot of girls would confess to me. I don't know if they were doing it for the intentionally or just so they could get a hold of my money, but if you were to ask me, it's more possible on the second option. You would probably say that I should be grateful for being honored by so many people, but I'm not. I hated those kind of people.

And I hated my life.

My father left me when I was around 6-7 years old, and got adopted by Gramps after a few months. I was alone without Dad, but he tried. He raised me to be good in sports, but despite how much I actually care for Gramps, I didn't like how it affected me at all. Look at me now, people pretend to be my friends just so they could brag about it to every other person they know or don't know, and I fucking hated it.

I'm more amused in those people who hate me for my lack of empathy, rudeness, and for every other bad quality I have. Mostly the empathy part. I wouldn't pass a day without someone calling me a jerk, or without someone calling me heartless. Mostly because I reject a lot of girls and they would always run away crying. But it didn't bother me in the slightest. They can call me whatever they wanted, and I simply wouldn't care. That's exactly just what I have to say to all those who hate me for it. I don't care.

I don't care if they would hate me. I don't care if they call me names.

The same goes with my life.

I don't care if I was adopted. I don't care if Dad left me. I don't care if I was alone. I don't care if I was good in sports. I don't care if people use me. I don't care if I'm heartless. I don't care if girls run away crying if I reject them. I don't care even if I'm living a lie.

Just like now for example, I'm lying to myself, but I don't fucking care.

I just wanna die.

Just as expected, the girl got teary eyed and struggled for words to say before she ran off. The students that were spectating us in the hall we were in looked after the girl, some ran after her, and a few gave me short but fierce glares.

I just shrugged them off.

Gray, one of my best(and only true) friends, appeared beside me a few seconds later. Despite how he was also used to this kind of occurrence, he had a disapproving look on his face as I turned my neck towards him.

"Damn, Natsu. That was harsh man."

I didn't pay any more mind to it and turned around, looking for my next class as I replied. "Whatever. She was no different from the others."

"Seriously Flame-brain." Muttered Gray as he walked next to me. I just yawned in response. I didn't lie though. It was true. It was just one of those times when girls would walk up to me than just run away weeping, and what that girl did just so happens to be normal to me now. Even if she's crying.

I just simply didn't care at all.

* * *

"That was amazing Lu-chan! For a second there I actually thought you _were _confessing!"

I rolled my eyes at Levy's assumption as I gently took the brown haired wig off of my blonde head. "Shut up Lev."

We were currently on the school's second floor ladies' restroom, which was barely used, after I did that whole 'confessing to Natsu Dragneel' ordeal. This is where me and Levy usually go to if we needed some privacy or if we had something serious to talk about, since no one came here anymore due to the stupid ghost story some guy called Lin said about this bathroom some time last year. Right now I'm currently removing my disguise as Levy bathed in happiness.

I swear I could see sparks flying from where she's standing.

"No, seriously! You totally convinced Erza on that one!" After successfully pulling it out, I proceeded into removing the blue contacts attached to my eyes as I listened to Levy's continuous rambling, slightly whimpering when my finger touched my eyeball. "That means we win the bet!"

I barely pulled out the left one yet when I said, "I wasn't doing it for the bet though."

I heard Levy groan from somewhere behind me and leaned closer to the bathroom mirror. "Is it about you wanting to help him again? Seriously Lu-chan? How do you even know that the guy has problems? He's living the life of a miracle!"

I plucked out the blue item out of my eye before sighing. "I don't know Lev. It's just that…every time I see his eyes, I could see something hiding beneath them. It looked like he was hiding something, like he was aware of everything wrong in his life. He looked like he was suffering from it despite how carefree he looked like, and I'm afraid that he might actually start wanting to die."

"You mean, like, suicide?!"

"No. Just something like when there's something that might kill him and cross paths with him, he would actually want to give in. I don't want that. I want him to love his life. I want to help him." I splashed some water on my eyes after finally removing the other contact and wiped them, putting on my glasses and stared at myself on the mirror fiercely. "And I'm determined to do so."

Looking at Levy's reflection on the mirror, I could make out a small smile forming on her lips and smiled back as I watched her walk over to me and drape an arm over my shoulder. "Lucy Heartfilia, I'm so glad to be best friends with you, I hope you know that."

"I'm completely aware."

"Though, Lu, shouldn't you be worrying for _your _life first instead?"

At her words, I brought a hand up and rested it on my left chest, sighing.

"Yeah, I know." I heard Levy sigh with me as she gave me a hug.

"You always put others first rather than yourself despite your condition." I just smiled weakly as I hugged her back.

"That's just because I care Lev."

* * *

**A/N: Okay so this story would be told in both Natsu and Lucy's POVs, but I'm gonna have to be honest and say that I'm gonna focus on Natsu's POV more rather than Lucy's since yeah, read the title.**

**Anyway, review what you think about it! It helps!**

**Ja ne!**

**~Shoyukine**


	2. Chapter 1: Encounter(N)

**A/N: YO! It's Sho!**

**The reason this chapter was created earlier than I intended it to be will be role-played in the bottom Author's note.**

**One hint: Bacon is my life, how could I resist it?**

**And sooooo, another chapter of MLHL from Sho! Hope you guys are happy.**

**I'm either gonna put one POV in each chapter, either Natsu's or Lucy's, or both depending on what the chapter is about or how long it is. But for now, let's start with masochistic Natsu's POV! Lucy's will be next, in the next chapter that is. This chapter basically shows the beginning, but since the next one would explain a certain reference on this one then the next one counts as a part of the beginning too.**

**I hope you guys would love it as much as I do. (I literally feel like my heart's being squeezed while I'm writing this)**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail. Simple as that. *tries not to freak out***

* * *

_**Chapter 1**_

_**.**_

_**~N~**_

_**.**_

_**Encounter**_

* * *

"…"

"Natsu! Talk to me man!"

"…"

"Dude! Seriously! Wake the hell up!"

"…"

"Damn it Flame-brain! Talk!"

"…"

"Is that gray hair I see? Its growing on MINE goddamn it! COME ON!"

"…"

"…"

.

.

.

.

.

.

"…oh, I lost." I mumbled, sighing as I lazily tapped the off button on my iPhone after a stupid game of flappy bird and faced Gray. "Oh, hi Gray. What were you saying?"

"Wha-Just-Ugh. Nevermind!" I just watched as Gray held his hands up in the air in surrender, cocking a brow at him in confusion.

"What's got your panties in a twist?"

"First off, I wear boxers—!"

"I can see that." I interrupted, gesturing to the pantless lower half of his body.

"Second is that, oh I don't know—IS THAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET YOU TO TALK TO ME FOR THE LAST 5 FUCKING MINUTES!" Gray yelled at me as if what he just said was the most obvious thing in the world, but I just yawned in his face in response.

"You got frustrated of waiting at a time limit that short? You must be very impatient then."

"Like hell I am!"

"Like hell you are." Literally. Gray's hair was disheveled and unusually filled with sweat, and he was wearing a shirt and clad only in a pair of boxers. I figured that he must have gone through a lot of work, though he wouldn't even tell me where he worked in the first place. I punched him for it, but it only got me one too in return.

I wasn't one to start fights(though if I do get caught up in one I wouldn't back down, but I'd still keep a lookout if I can be killed by being hit on a vital area or some shit like that), but Gray was the only person I bothered to keep up a conversation with(aside from Gramps), and it wouldn't be much of a surprise if we would both be found on the floor trying to choke each other's throats off.

Hey, if it was any other guy I would have let them beat me to death but with Gray? I'd rather go through hell and back before I would even let myself be killed by this asshole.

"Look, what are you even doing here in the first place?" I watched as Gray rummaged through his drawers for some new pants with his back turned to me, the low but defeated tone of his voice showing off that he was clearly frowning. "You have a mansion to sleep in you retard, pick up your lazy ass and get the hell out of my dorm room!"

"I don't want to." I said in a blank monotone, Stripper whipping his head in the speed of light to stare at me in disbelief.

"What do you mean you don't want to?!" Gray inquired furiously, his pants now clearly forgotten.

"I just don't want to." Shrugging, I lifted myself off of his bed and plopped myself down on the mattress laid down on the floor beside it. I slept over here when I didn't want to go home most of the time, and today I had a pretty good reason. Screw beds, I don't care. "That's it."

"That's _it? _That's _it?! _That's it!" Gray raised a fist. "If you don't fucking tell me what's _it_, I swear Natsu I'm gonna—!"

"She's home."

Gray's sentence was cut off abruptly and his eyes widened. "…what?"

I sighed and repeated. "_She's. Home._"

"…you mean…?"

.

.

.

Gray looked like he got the message and knitted his eyebrows at me after a brief moment of silence. "So when are you going back?"

This time it was me who looked at him in disbelief.

"What? You gotta face her sooner or later." He tried to reason, but it didn't please me. "An apology won't work itself you know."

"And who ever said I'm apologizing?" I scoffed, bringing my phone out to twirl it around my hand. "It's her fault for trying to set me up with every girl she sees me looking at, even for just a second. She brought that yell to herself." Pausing, noticing Gray's raised brow from my peripheral vision, I continued. "Even if it was me who yelled at her."

Looking at the little crystal clock decorated on the blue wall ahead of me, I noticed it was getting late. I yawned. Tomorrow might be a Saturday, but I'm tired as hell. Squirming, I found a comfortable position, without having to face Gray's bed.

"You can't hide from her forever." I heard the sound of a bed shifting behind me. "You know that Natsu."

"First off, I'm not hiding." I heard a huff coming from him but ignored it. "Second, until she goes back to Edolas where she really lives in, yes, yes I can."

"But you just said that you're not hiding."

"I'm not."

"Riiight." Gray sounded skeptical, but I then heard him sigh a few seconds after.

Guess I win this argument, since Gray sounded like he was more exhausted than I am.

"Fine. Whatever you say Dragneel." The light that recently illuminated the whole room went out along with his yawn. "Night."

"Night." And in a matter of seconds, I started to hear snoring just not so far away. He sleeps fast like I do. But I decided not to sleep just yet.

The ceiling started to get a little bit interesting so I decided to stare at it through the darkness. The dimmed light coming inside from Gray's window managed to at least outline the room's insides, making it clear for me to see a bit. Bad news was it wasn't that interesting at all, with how it was decorated in snow like patterns, but my gaze didn't falter.

I still had too much on my mind to think about.

My head wandered back to Gray's words and scowled. Apologize? Apologize, _to her_? Pft, Gray must be an idiot to think of something as stupid as that. I mean, me? Me apologizing? Is he shitting with me right now?

I sat up, abruptly disrupting my vision of the ceiling making me a bit dizzy. I'm thirsty, but I instantly remembered that Gray didn't keep any source of food here in his dorm room, or any source of drinks for that matter. I groaned. Great, didn't he ever think of buying a fridge? Gray's not that poor you know, he could buy most of the stuff I could.

After one failed attempt at just trying to resist the urge to force any kind of liquid down my throat, I eventually found myself walking down the halls of Gray's dorm, looking for the first vending machine I could find. They might not have water which is what I originally wanted, but I couldn't care less if I were to die out of drinking too many bottles of soda. That would've been _great_.

It would be better than apologizing to that…that _demon_.

Don't get me wrong, I want to die more than _anything_, but still.

Dying is better than apologizing to _her_. Just like how it's better than anything else. That idiot Gray, where'd he even think of an idea that moronic?!

_You know he's right_, a voice at the back of my head said and I inwardly yelled for it to shut up.

.

.

.

I ran a hand through my pink(salmon) hair and groaned(again). No matter how much I deny it, I actually _do _need to, I shuddered, apologize. But not because I'm admitting that it was my fault and not hers(which it, in reality, is), but because Gramps would be mad at me for not doing so.

And when I say mad, I mean REALLY mad. Like he could grow and be a giant at any minute to just simply step on me, but with rage. I could just let him kill me while he's at it, but it'll just be more of a torture session rather than a death sentence…so no.

I sighed and closed my eyes. Too much thinking. God, I hate thinking.

And I hate everything(NOT the emo kind).

Guess I'll have to go home tomorrow and 'apologize'. Not just to anyone, but to _her_. If I don't, then Gramps would take away…that _thing_.

Ugh, why am I still keeping it anyway? I don't even wear it anymore. It's fucking pointless. It's just a constant reminder to me of how my life started to suck.

_Yet I still kept it anyway._

.

.

.

…shit.

Just kill me. Now.

I was too engrossed in my thoughts to notice that I have already passed by three vending machines.

* * *

_**.**_

**_~N~_**

_**.**_

* * *

"See ya later man!" Gray bade as he then drove away in his motorcycle, leaving me coughing up dust that his wheels threw over the sidewalk I was in. That bastard.

I didn't inform Gramps of my disappearance yesterday since I just took a cab to Gray's dorm so as to not gain attention. Almost everybody knew I drove an expensive red mustang, most even gotten as far as to memorize my plate number. I hitched a ride from Gray(after a couple minutes of bickering) this morning since I knew that if I called my chauffer over, Gramps would find out and yell at me from the other line. That actually happened once, so calling a ride from home was a big no.

Gramps' yells are more avoidable in person. At least you wouldn't get to anger him more by just sitting there and pretending to listen to him rather than hanging up and hearing your ringtone sound over and over again in your pocket. It's so damn annoying.

I sighed as I entered the gates that were opened for me by the mansion guards. Not minding the look they were giving me that literally screamed 'MASTER!', I quickened my pace and eventually found myself already in front of the gigantic doorway.

"Natsu child! There you are!" Miss Spetto exclaimed as soon as my hand was about to knock on the 2 huge double doors, her head peeking out revealing her face that was mixed in between surprise and worry. "I was so worried that you didn't return last night. Where have you been?!"

So it was worry then.

"I _did _return Miss Spetto, I just _left _as soon as I did." I bluntly replied, but Miss Spetto's expression only got added with a skeptical gaze.

When Gramps adopted me, he was much busier at the time than he was now, so he got Miss Spetto to look after me while he wasn't around. Looking at her now, her looks never changed. She was still the same old short, middle-aged woman with a square-shaped face(I'm not even kidding). She had long dark purple hair tied in a pony tail, and she had black eyes. If you see her smile though, she'd immediately look like a motherly figure, which literally suits her personality.

One of the reasons why I hated my life was because I really hated being pampered, but with Miss Spetto being so thoughtful and kind like a mother would be as she took care of me, I really couldn't care less. She was my motherly figure throughout my entire life with Gramps, and she's one of the people I really care about.

No matter how much I hate my life though, it doesn't exactly mean I wouldn't care for people precious to me. But even if I do care for them…

_It just doesn't feel worth living for with how everything else is in the background._

_Not even caring could change that._

"I'm not convinced." I snapped out of my reverie when I noticed that Miss Spetto was now standing firmly in front of me beside the doorway, her arms crossed with a frown now taking over the facial features I just saw a few seconds before my mind started wandering off. "Tell me, Natsu Dragneel, where have you been all night?" She paused before finishing, "And how many times do I have to tell you to just call me Mom?!"

See? She definitely fits the role of a worried and overreacting mother.

I sighed. "Long story short, I sneaked back in here last night to get a few clothes and slept over at Gray's dorm. Is that okay with you, Mi—"

She glared at me.

"—_Mom_?" I finished, shrugging back at her as if I was just about to say Mom in the first place.

She closed her eyes and brought up her fingers to rub her temples, and I just stood there in front of her awkwardly. I knew that action. Whenever she did that while we are both talking, it made me really uncomfortable. It meant that she had something to say that I didn't wanna know about, and it keeps making me damn nervous. It either meant that I'm gonna get pissed, or that I'm screwed.

"Miss Mirajane just arrived last night," I cringed at her name. Mom looked up at me. "Master has been looking for you the whole time you were gone. He snapped when he found out that you didn't come home."

…yep, I'm screwed.

"But I _did _come ho—"

"Just because you came back to pick up a few things doesn't necessarily mean that you _did_." Miss Spe—I mean Mom pointed out and I ended up slouching with a scowl on my face. Damn it. Just how old is she to know such logic? (That wasn't an insult)

"You do know that you're just basically telling me that I'm gonna get fucked up the moment I step inside right?"

"Language Natsu!" Mom hissed. "And unfortunately, yes. It wasn't intended to scare you though."

I scoffed. "And who ever said I'm scared?"

"Oh, you're not." She mocked, feigning shock with a hand over her chest, smirking. "Well, then, Mr. Dragneel, come in then, if you're not scared."

"Gladl—!" I was stopped mid-sentence while I opened the door, because a weird looking animal jumped out just as soon as I opened it, bouncing down the stairway and then started running around the yard. Wait…why does the nose look like a carrot?

I faced Mis—MOM, about to ask her if she had any idea of what the hell that thing was when I caught her eyeing it weirdly, mumbling something about it…being familiar? Did she see that thing before? "Um, Mom?"

"Oh!" Her eyes widened as she looked like she was snapping out of it, then she smiled at me warmly. "Uh, let's never mind that. It may have just entered the house by accident." She waved it off and just proceeded to usher me inside. I gave her a weird look, but waved it off just as she did.

As we walked down the halls, my ears perked up at giggling coming from the living room(even though it's about 50 meters away), and I once again faced Mi—MOM! Goddamn it.

"Do we have guests?"

She pinched her chin in thought. "Huh, funny. I asked Kirby the same thing a little before you arrived, she told me that Miss Mira brought over a guest with her today." I cocked a brow. She brought a guest over? I know Mira's friendly, but she hardly brings any friends to visit here.

"Who did she bring?" I questioned.

"I asked Kirby that too, since it surprised me a bit, but she told me that Miss Mira kept whoever she brought over's identity classified, and said that they were alone right now in the living room." Wow, really? She did that? I learn something new from Mira every day. Judging from the giggles I heard, I'm guessing that her 'classified' guest, is a girl.

"Wait, you said that Kirby told you. Weren't you here?"

A sigh came rolling out of Mom's mouth. "Of course not child. I just came back from the market a little before you were here. How else could I have been there before you entered?"

"Oh." I breathed out, her not replying making our conversation come to an end.

Of course, I enjoyed the comfortable silence between us until—

"BRAAAAAT!"

…shit.

* * *

_**.**_

_**~N~**_

_**.**_

* * *

I can't believe it

I can't fucking believe it.

Her, the evil/demon/devil/mischievous woman, also the very person I have to apologize to even though I don't even want to, just saved my freaking ass back there.

_She _just saved my ass.

_Mira _just saved my ass.

_Mirajane Strauss_, just saved my sarry ass.

"_Master, calm down."_

"_NO! This brat disappeared on me last night, and not just from me, but you too! Don't you remember what he said to you two years ago?! He still hasn't apologize! I'm not accepting such a rude manne—!"_

"_Master, it's okay. Me and Natsu just need to talk about it, right Natsu? Who knows, I might forgive him."_

_I just sat there wide-eyed for the first time in years while Master gave me an icy glare. "You better not mess this up boy, or I'll take it away forever."_

I was supposed to be grateful that Gramps didn't give me a beating, but I'm not.

I'm seriously pissed.

The moment we both went out of the house together to 'talk things over', I started smelling something fishy. Something didn't feel right, and I can only point it out to one reason.

Mira is planning something.

We are both now currently walking down a path somewhere in the forest beside the mansion. Gramps' company's founder's buried promise was said to be hidden somewhere around here, so he decided to have the huge house built next to it in the attempt to find it, but until now he still got no such luck.

Mira and I continued to walk until I broke the silence. "Mira…"

"Yes?" She asked innocently. I scowled at her.

"What are you planning?"

"Oh whatever are you talking about my dear friend?" She scratched her head, mockingly, for emphasis. "I don't understand."

"Bullshit. You know exactly what I'm talking about." I hissed through clenched teeth. "Where are you taking me anyway? Into another blind date?"

"I see you haven't changed Natsu dear." She said, now I her normal tone. "Have you forgotten that you really hurt my feelings two years ago?"

"You deserved it." I said straightforwardly, and it was really starting to creep me out on how she just keeps on smiling through all this.

"Still as cold as ever I see." She stated, putting her hand on her hips. "Well, doesn't matter. Just come with me." She then started to walk faster. Reluctantly, I followed after her, sighing.

We strolled about a few more minutes before she finally stopped, and I looked over her shoulder, since I decided to just trail down behind her, and saw that we halted in front of what looks like a very steep cliff.

"In order for me to forgive you," she faced me. "continue walking ahead and whatever happens next, just go along with it."

.

.

.

…huh?

"What do you want me to do again…? I kinda missed the first part." She…just gestured over to the edge with her head.

"Walk ahead."

I swallowed. Is she really allowing me to do this? I can finally die? I could finally leave this life, and jump over that cliff?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

…I feel like the happiest man on earth.

Trying not to show how giddy I was, I gulped and started walking, taking steps slowly as to not show Mira how overjoyed I was.

This was finally happening. How I dreamed that this day would come sooner.

9 more steps and I can finally leave this world.

.

8 more steps and I could finally run away from reality.

.

7 more steps and I can finally run away from riches.

.

6 more steps and I could finally run away from the dullness of every day.

.

5 more steps and I'll finally stop breathing.

.

4 more steps and I'll finally stop feeling.

.

3 more steps and I'll finally say goodbye to life.

.

2 more steps and I'll finally be free.

.

1 more step, and I'll finally die.

!

But just as my foot was about to lose balance and fall, someone called out.

"WAIT!"

Something gripped me tightly around my waist, and my eyes widened. Turning my head around to see what stopped me from finally embracing death, I gasped.

It was a girl with blonde hair, desperately tightening her grip around me as she her eyes were shut closed, a few tears brimming out from the corner of her closed eyelids. "STOP! DON'T DO IT PLEASE!"

As she said those words her eyes shot open allowing the flow of tears to run down her flustered cheeks, and I looked at her questioningly. I was about to yell at her to let go of me, but I made eye contact with her, and I inaudibly gasped.

Through her black, thick-framed glasses, were (dare I say it)beautiful, but pleading brown eyes, making me feel like she was looking straight into my soul. I was confused. Two questions were swimming around my head as she sobbed at me.

Who is this girl? And why did she want to stop me?

It was when she spoke again that I realized, "I received your letter. You don't have to commit suicide just so I could be with you. Fine! I'll be your girlfriend!" My eyes widened when she turned me around and continued to hug me tightly. "Just please, don't kill yourself."

"_In order for me to forgive you," she faced me. "continue walking ahead and whatever happens next, just go along with it."_

So…she didn't want me to die so I could earn her forgiveness? She wanted me to go along with being this nerd's boyfriend instead?

Is she fucking kidding me?! Was she trying to make me feel stupid?!

"_You better not mess this up boy, or I'll take it away forever."_

Looking down at the girl, I frowned. Gramps wanted Mira to forgive me, and if she did, then he wouldn't take _it _away…it should have been simple, but how'd it get to this?!

I sighed. I don't even know why I'm still keeping that thing, it being locked in my closet for a long time, and I don't even want Gramps to take it…it's not even precious yet…

I don't want _anyone _to take it.

All I had to do was pretend to be this girl's admirer, and be her boyfriend.

_Shit_.

But somehow, keeping that _thing _feels like it's worth the pretend.

And I don't fucking know why.

_All I had to do now was to be forgiven._

"Okay…" I hugged the girl back.

_And now, I am._

* * *

**A/N: Here is the role-play. I CALL IT 'Writer's block'**

**Saturday**

**11:00AM**

**Sho: Time to edit Marry Me! *sits on chair and stares at laptop***

**10:00PM**

**Sho: …*still staring at laptop*…maybe another time. *turns off laptop and goes to sleep***

**Sunday**

**10:00AM**

**Sho: Hmm, Marry Me! didn't work out so well yesterday. Maybe I'll just try to write the next chappie of TDIILW then.*turns on laptop again and opens up document***

**12:00PM**

**Sho: …*slams laptop shut and bangs head on the wall repeatedly* FUCK YOU WRITER'S BLOCK! I CAN'T FOCUS ON ANY OF MY GODDAMN STORIES BECAUSE OF YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH! ASDFGHJKHGFDSSDFG—!**

**Best: Woah Sho, calm down.**

**Sho: ADFGHJKKKKKKKJHGFDSFGHJK—!**

**Best: Sho look, I have an idea on how you'll get out of writer's block.**

**Sho: —DFGHJFD—really?! *eyes start to sparkle***

**Best: Yep! **

**Sho: *heavenly music plays in the background* YES! WHAT DO I DO FIRST BEST-SENSEI?!**

**Best: Okay first, *suspense music***

**Sho: *nods eagerly* Uh-huh?**

**Best: I give you this bacon,**

**Sho: *heavenly music plays louder* UH-HUH?!**

**Best: and then you eat it,**

**Sho: *heavenly music starts to get deafening* YEAH?!**

**Best: And then use it to have some inspiration and update My Life – His Life! And that only!**

**Sho: …*gets shot in the chest while the heavenly music turns into the sound of thunder***

**And I just basically tried to kill him after that. But who was I to deny an offer with bacon? **

**Also if you guys are wondering why the ending sucks, this is pretty much the partial reason. The bigger part. I planned to make the last part more dramatic, but since I'm being rushed by an overly impatient idiot I had no other choice.**

**Anyway, hope you liked it!**

**Confused about Lucy? Find out in the next chapter! Please review!**

**Have a good day guys!**

**Ja ne!**

**~Shoyukne**


	3. Chapter 2: Plan(L)

**A/N: YO! It's Sho!**

**We are now on the third step to the start of this fanfic.**

**I love the last sentence of this chapter so much it killed me.**

**I'm just gonna stop talking first, for now. Chapter comes first. It's long, but I hope you can bear with it. I figured that you guys might need to get a little more info about Lucy's personality, and also an explanation for the last chapter so…sorry?**

**Enjoy…**

**Disclaimer: I. do. Not. Own. Anything.**

* * *

_**Chapter 2**_

_**.**_

_**~L~**_

_**.**_

_**Plan**_

* * *

Walking down the halls of Magnolia high, not caring if Levy is frantically searching for me everywhere on the school campus(I stole her book), I nearly took a pause when I wheezed a bit, realizing that my throat is starting to feel dry. Come to think of it, I haven't drink even one glass of water today, and it's already lunch break. I woke up and left at 6am so that's…4…6 hours? I don't know. Maybe it's due to me forgetting to pay for the bills on mineral water, or maybe it's because I was too panicked to eat or drink anything this morning today since I just got my…uh…T.O.M. last week and I could still feel it flowing. Don't ask.

Whatever the cause, I just need some water.

There I go again. Thinking too much. It has been a habit of mine to do too much thinking on simple things. It's annoying. I usually find myself spacing out in the library while reading a novel just because I keep contemplating on whether romance is better than drama, which actually led to thinking about good soap operas, with the genre romance in it. I always go deep into just one simple topic that my mind would eventually lead onto something that doesn't exactly relate to it, like thinking about a ball, going deeper, then finding myself already thinking about the Olympics. Heck, I don't even know how, I just ended up there without realizing it.

I think of it as a bad habit. I don't like what it does, but I'm already grown too used to it that I can't avoid doing it anymore.

Just like what I'm doing right now for example. Thinking about thinking…I just realized that that didn't make any sense, but in a way it did…I should stop.

Groaning, I noticed that the way I walked started looking like I was wobbling in the middle of the hallway(in disappointment), but thank goodness it still wasn't noticeable that I managed to compose myself quickly. I've been humiliated too much in my high school life already, thank you very much.

After a few more steps forward and one turn to the right, I finally found a vending machine. It doesn't have water though…so no. Ah! I remembered owing Laki-sensei a soda this morning on being late for homeroom. I was a straight A student, so the soda bit was just a warning to not do it again next time. Now I know not to do it again, it costs me five jewel…I know it's not that expensive but hey, I work hard for my money okay? One jewel paid is like one day's worth of my time. But I'm NOT cheap, got that?

I stopped my tracks in front of the vending machine and found what Laki-sensei asked for me to buy. The soda with the brand 'bloodthirsty', costing sure enough, 5 jewels, top shelf, number 1R. Pretty weird name for a soda, but who was I to judge what Laki-sensei appreciates? I've had my suspicions on her being a sadist, but I guess this might just be a coincidence. It's just a soda after all. That said, I began digging in my pockets for said price.

Finally finding the object after a few seconds of searching, I was confused when I heard faint murmurs taking over the usually loud hallway, and I stopped for a moment to look around when I saw that their attention were fixated on me.

Figuring there might have been just something on my face, which I honestly just don't care about(other than my glasses), I just shrugged and punched the numbers on the vending machine so I can just get this over and done with. I still need my water. One word out of my mouth and I might sound like I ate too much sweets.

The can fell from its place, so I bended my knees a little and reached out for it when it fell into the slot, but when my hand gripped it, a hand suddenly came out of the slot and latched into my wrist. In the background, I could hear the snickering of students as they anticipated my scream.

.

.

.

…it didn't come though. I just stood there for a few seconds, stared at the hand, sighed, then knocked my knuckles against the machine gently.

"Vending machine-san, please let go of my hand. I have to give this soda to Laki-sensei." I asked as if I was oblivious, but I of course, obviously wasn't. I'm used to this kind of happenings since freshman year. Back then I would have yelled for even a chicken to save me, but now they've done this kind of pranks too much on me and my clique that I'm too lazy to even blink an eye anymore. "Vending machine-san?"

The hand's hold on my wrist loosened as it stiffened, clearly shocked. I inwardly groaned. Seriously? Almost all of my sophomore and senior years have been filled by your stupid and incredibly outdated tricks. I waited for a few more moments of silence until I finally made a move to yank my wrist.

Strolling away normally was my next plan until the queen of female dogs stopped me from moving. I might be a gentle person, but I wish I had my phone right now because I'm sure that I had the butcher store on speed dial so they could chop off this woman's nose. (I'm seriously curious to know how many times this woman had it changed/operated)

Sue sneered at me while pathetically trying to hover over me, failing miserably. "You're not scared…"

"Oh no, I was frightened." I talked nonchalantly. "It scared me more than the conjuring, now if you'll excuse me, I need to hide in the bathroom. My bladder does as well." I then trudged past her and tried to walk away, but her just as devious little minions blocked me from doing so. Dang it.

"And our little sarcastic nerdy strikes again ladies and gentleman." That pistachio-haired female dog laughed like a chipmunk would as her little spawns of satan friends giggled at my nickname. Yes, I have a nickname in this school ever since I started talking back to Sue and her friends. They named me, like how they made names for the other nerds in school, 'sarcastic nerdy'. Everyone knew about it since Sue picked on me the most unlike Levy, who was also nicknamed 'booknerd'. She would only get picked on if she helped fought my battles for me, but I always made sure that I wasn't around her if I made eye contact with Sue so that everyone would forget about her humiliating nickname. Levy's my best friend, I don't like her being bullied more than she already is because of her height difference. And we're not even nerds! We're just grade conscious!

Yes, you heard it right. I'm sarcastic. Probably the only kind of bad trait I have grown used to in my whole seventeen years of existence, and for some reason I expose it too much. Ugh, the irony of me.

"Um, little sarcastic nerdy would like to use the little ladies' room?" I inquired. "So can big mouth pistachio lady please make way for her?"

The bi—tternut just flipped back her non-existent long hair and scowled at me, but the irritating smirk on her face stayed. "Oh, aren't you the one to talk?"

…she's got a point. Dang it! Have to escape, find water, and contact Levy about not being able to make it to my next period and say I'm sick. Yeah, I have some expired food at home that I can blame on if she comes over. Good plan Lucy! Now one problem, have to escape first and right now I have the possibility rate the size of an ant. I guess if that doesn't work out might as well resist another round of swirlies(except Sue does it to me on a bowl of expired milk, it's a girl version of a swirly).

"Of course I have the right to talk, haven't you ever heard of freedom of speech? It's stated on the first page on the book of human rights lady!" Lucy, please just…stop with the sarcasm. Mavis where'd I even adapt this kind of trait? …wait, it's Sue's fault for trying to get me into one of her pranks right? And it failed, so I also pretty much have the right to gain victory. Why is she so persistent on this issue and won't let me leave? I just want water! W-A-T-E-R! Just what does this woman have against thirsty people?

No, better yet, what does she have against _me_?

"You never change S.N." Sue shook her head. "I thought you would've known better by now and just shut that filthy trap you call a mouth." Yeah, I thought I would've known better by now too, but hey, we don't always get what we want in this world right?

"You do know that you have a mouth too right?" That remark got me hooked in both my sides by the arms and I felt a stinging pain radiating off my left cheek a second later.

"Tch. Sarcasm would get you nowhere you sarcastic little bitch." I just narrowed my eyes at her. Most students that were currently spectating us backed up a step, some walked away, and some gave me sympathetic looks. I sighed. Why do that if you're not even gonna help me in the first place?

Oh yeah, of course. If they help us nerds(grade-conscious), they get bullied too. Then they'll also be the one given stupid nicknames, get swirlies done on them, cornered for no apparent reason(like me right now for example), pushed, shoved, backpacks thrown in trash cans, pranked on for amusement, cornered again if the prank fails(again, like me right now), and literally every other bully act they can come up with.

Basically, if you'd even as little as try to be a saint in this school, then hell would be simply given to you every single day of your high school life on a messy silver platter.

"Was that last part supposed to be directed to _me? _Or, more likely, to _you_?" I asked without hesitation. Might as well get this over and done with. Plus, Sue's not even that good of a slapper anyway; I'll live. "I don't see any other person around here who fits that role other than the walking chocolate bar in front of me, with added pistachio toppings."

"Why you little—!"

"OH MY MAVIS ITS TAYLOR LAUTNER SHIRTLESS!" I heard somebody yell from somewhere and the whole student female population(along with the guys) disappeared and I was left alone in the middle of the hallway, rubbing my still burning cheek. Fortunately, Sue has a thing for celebrities, and so does her little minions.

What was that all about? Taylor Lautner? Really? What the heck's going on here? And who in earthland would believe a lie so obvious like that?

That was when I realized what was going on in my surroundings compared to just a few seconds ago.

…Oh.

Don't look at me like that. Just because I didn't react the same way those girls did doesn't really mean I'm anti-social. I just don't swoon over guys with hot bodies okay? And besides, I hated twilight, as weird as it may seem since I'm a part bookworm and all. And even if I did, I would prefer the vampire dude.

Back to the topic…was the person that yelled that trying to save me? If so, who? I don't remember the voice being Levy's, and she hated twilight just as much as I did so, who was it?

"I just saved your ass back there you know. Might as well thank me for it." My eyes widened as I turned around to see the person I certainly wasn't expecting to see. No way! Didn't she say she was going home tonight? How is she here right now?! I'm so confuuuuuuused!

"_Mirajane?!"_

* * *

_**.**_

_**~L~**_

_**.**_

* * *

"You got bullied by that puke-haired demon again just because you weren't surprised by that old and lame vending machine prank?! Damn that woman, I'm gonna avenge you Lu-chan!" I had to hold on to the lower back of Levy's blazer to stop her from attempting to hunt Sue down like a bloodthirsty eagle. Sweat dropped down the side of my forehead when she tried to bite my arm off like a dog not used to being in a leash. "Let me go Lu-chan! That girl deserves a beating! A BEATING!"

"Levy…"

"Lucy…" I turned my head towards the scarlet-haired woman.

"Yeah Erza?"

I slowly shrunk back in my seat when she suddenly started chuckling darkly. The dark aura around her was visible, spreading the more she talked. "You do remember the last time you got bullied right? I promised you that I'll tear that woman limb by limb, skin her alive, make her swallow a grenade, throw her off a cli—"

"Okay yeah Erza, I get it…but can you please make today an exception?"

"She slapped you Lucy, for Mavis' sake! I was fine with the shoving but with slapping? As the student council president and as your best friend I will not take any more of this madness! Especially since you have—!"

"Really Erza, I'm fine." I sighed. "I just really got to lay off on the sarcasm though, it makes things worse." I heard Levy scoff as she finally settled down beside me, finally allowing my hand to rest.

"Damn straight you should. You were one more word away from having a swirly. They're using pregnant woman's milk this time around you know?" I literally choked on my spit at that. Oh thank goodness for Taylor Lautner.

"Seriously Lucy." Erza tched. "You're lucky enough that this kind girl here has saved you back there."

"Yeah…" Across from me on the table sat Mirajane Strauss, my BFF through the internet. "Thanks Mira."

She just shot me a smile.

2 years ago, I accidentally bumped into this certain white-haired beauty at Magnolia Airlines. In return for my clumsiness, I offered to carry her bags for her, she declined, but we both somehow managed to make a conversation based on a lot of thing we actually have in common. Before she checked in, she gave me her username on a particular website and I gave her mine, and everything went downhill from there.

There was actually more to what happened, but I don't really want to talk about it.

"So Lucy," Mirajane started. "Aren't you going to introduce me to these two lovely ladies? You three seem to be really close, it intrigues me."

…okay I'm not gonna lie, I nearly had a nosebleed at her formality, but I managed to stop the flow. I've had two years of experience...okay maybe 5 years(*cough* Erza *cough).

"Uuuh, okay." I pointed to the girl beside me. "This is Levy McGarden, my best friend."

"Nice to meet ya!" Levy greeted cheerfully, and I sweat dropped at how she was obviously failing at being equal with Mira's accent. "I hope we'll get along well, milady!"

Shaking my head, I proceeded to the scarlet-haired woman who is on my other side. "And this here, Mira, is Erza Sca—"

"Erza Scarlet." Erza cut me off. "It's a pleasure to meet such a kind woman like you. Lucy sure is fortunate to have met you, and now I am too. I appreciate your kindness towards my best friend. She has the best behavior of us three, she just has a very bad habit of using sarcasm. I apologize if you've already known this since you both have been communicating for two years. Just sayin'."

…blood, don't you dare come out.

"Oh, don't worry about it." Mira assured her, and she beckoned for me to sit next to her.

I shrugged and asked Levy to move a bit, then I sat next to Mira. "And guys, this is Mirajane Strauss. Met her in the airport."

"Pleasure to meet you two as well." She once again stated formally, but her whole demeanor changed the moment she suddenly hugged me so tight.

"LUUUCCY!" Mira wailed, squeezing the life out of me. C-Can't breathe. "HOW ARE YOU?! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?! DID THEY DO ANYTHING TO YOU OTHER THAN SLAPPING?! CAN I MURDER THEM FOR DOING THAT TO YOU?! HOW COULD THEY DO THAT TO MY PRECIOUS LITTLE BLONDE ANGEL?! THOSE BITCHES! LUUUCY! I MISSED YOU SO MUUUUUUUCH!"

"M-Mira, I c-cant—!"

"YOU CAN'T WHAT?! YOU CANT'S FORGIVE THEM?! YOU CAN'T TOLERATE THEM FOR WHAT THEY DID?! TELL ME THE WORDS LUCY! I'LL KILL THEM FOR YOU! DON'T WORRY! IT'LL BE A PIECE OF CAKE!"

"Did someone mention cake?" I heard Erza mutter, but I was too engrossed in my current situation to acknowledge it.

"M-Mira, p-please—!"

"Oh, of course I'm sorry!" Mira then let go of me, finally allowing oxygen to enter my lungs. SWEET AIR! SWEET, SWEET AIR! Breathe it in Lucy, Breathe. It. In!

"I'm so sorry Lucy…do you still want me to kill them though?"

"N-No…" I gave her an assuring smile through pants. "…I'd…rather b-be…clean on my records…thank you…"

"Mira-san…" Oh, they're still here. They got to see the real Mirajane at least. (Maybe it'll stop Erza from being so forma—)

"You sure are both a fine and obnoxious lady in one beautiful and intriguing body, it's no wonder you and Lucy are on a majestically high level of friendship." …(I talked too soon.)

"No way…now I have a BFF rival! NOOOOOO!" Levy ran out of the booth we are currently in and sulked in a nearby corner. I sweat dropped.

"Uhhh, Levy?"

"Levy-san…?"

"I have a rival, this can't be happening, my best friend's slowly distancing away from me…" We heard her mutter those sentences a lot, the dark disappointing aura around her growing at each word. Mira had a confused look on her face, meanwhile me and Erza just stared at Levy in disbelief.

"Um, Levy-san?"

"Rival, rival…"

"Levy…"

"Levy-san, if it makes you feel better…I see Lucy only as a sister—"

"Is that so?" Levy's neck slowly turned to face us, her eyes flashing. Next thing I knew was that she was already squeezing both me and Mira into a bone-crushing hug, sitting next to us at our side of the booth. "If she's your sister, then I'm her best friend. The problem's all solved between us then."

"I'm still here…you know?"

"Another rival!"

"My, my…what loyal friends you have here Lucy…I'm glad to be one…"

"Rival!"

"…as your sister."

I just sighed.

* * *

_**.**_

_**~L~**_

_**.**_

* * *

Saturday, the day where every victim of the torture chamber we all know as school gets to take a break from the gigantic piles of stuff to study, and the still growing pile of homework.

I don't do much on Saturdays. Seeing as I'm not a morning person, I use my precious time on this glorious day to stay in bed to regain all my much needed sleep. If I do decide to actually wake up within the hours of this break, I use it to watch whatever pleases me on television. Most likely Anime, but other than that nothing. Nothing much to do actually, so that's why I usually spend it on burying my head on a pillow and drifting off somewhere to dreamland.

Right now, however, my face is not flat against a cushion and I'm not laying down in my Spongebob pajamas. Instead I'm wearing the baggiest sweater I could find in my closet, a pair of jeans and sneakers, with my trademark glasses, and am currently heading towards Mirajane's place. I don't know why she asked me to come over, but she was acting pretty suspicious yesterday while we were having a conversation at the diner.

"_Ne Lu-chan, don't you think it would have been more hilarious if Mira-san called out Natsu's name instead of Taylor's? I would have paid to see all the girls' expressions! Especially Natsu's!"_

"_If Mira did then instead of leaving me behind in an empty hallway, they would have left me behind on a hallway flooded with blood so…"_

"_Wait…you guys know Natsu? As in, Natsu Dragneel?" Mira suddenly asked, confusing us three. _

"_Yeah, he's in our school. Number one on the popularity chart." I replied for us. "Why are you asking? Do you know him as well?" _

"_Do you want to help him like Lucy does?" I kicked Levy under the table. _

"_Ow!"_

"_Back to the question, do you know him?" I repeated with a clenched jaw, sending Levy a warning look in case she gets any ideas of bringing up that topic again._

"_Sort of…" She trailed off, but the atmosphere around us got pretty intense as Mira started staring at me, like she was boring her deep blue eyes into my very soul. There was a mysterious glint in her eyes, like she was calculating something. She kept her intent gaze for a full minute before talking and smiled. "Ne Lucy, come over at where I'm staying tomorrow okay? I'll give you the address."_

_I eyed her skeptically, that smile just seemed innocent though. _

_Too innocent. I knew her long enough to know she's planning something. "Yeah sure…and no Levy, you can't come."_

"_Damn it."_

Too suspicious actually. What was she thinking about? She—

I sighed. Don't even start overthinking Lucy, don't even start.

After a few minutes of walking I finally found my destination, which just so happens to be a mansion with a hundred feet like gate made in gold, a mini garden of Eden on the front yard(probably the backyard too), a neat stony walkway to the main entrance, probably about 4-5 floors to the rooftop, and a pool settled just beside the mini garden of Eden, all of this you can identify just by standing outside which is what I'm doing right now. I can tell just by stepping one foot inside that I'm already too out of place.

Heck, I'm out of place already. Maybe I should just walk away, Mira would understand right? I even brought Plue with me, my pup. They might not allow dogs around here, outsider dogs I mean. I couldn't possibly waltz in here. Hmmm, should I get inside? Mira invited me after all, but it's already way too obvious that this kind of environment doesn't go well with me. I could just call her…no, that wouldn't do. Text message? Possibly, but mine and Mira's phone has different networks. I could just tell her that I can't manage to come on our private chat on the website…but that would be lying wouldn't it? She did say she see me as a sister, if I'd lie to her she would have hated me. What kind of sister lies to their sister? That would probably hurt. A _lot. _I wonder if Mira actually has a sister, what would she look like? Probably pretty, I can't imagine someone being related to Mira NOT pretty, that would be wei—

"Oh Lucy! You're here!"

…thinking, oh how much I hate you.

* * *

_**.**_

_**~L~**_

_**.**_

* * *

"—so I told him, 'get lost you perv! Go find another bitch that could wipe your ass for ya!' I mean, seriously? What did he think I was, some kind of whore? Good Lord…"

"Wow, must have been a tough break up for you two."

"Yeah, that asshole wasn't worth it, Mavis I'm glad I found Laxus. He may be too serious at times but at least he's decent…" I could make out a small smile forming on Mira's lips, she seems really happy. "…and he loves me."

"Now THAT'S what I call decent! Congratulations!" I beamed up at her in joy, holding her hand with the ring on her finger. "You are now engaged to the too serious man at times but decent and loves you with his whole heart! You deserve an award for a man like that! Bring out the wedding dress!"

"Lucy!" She giggled with me nevertheless. I just found out that this mansion actually belonged to this Laxus guy she was talking about, the guy she's now engaged with. Don't mistake it, she's still 18, one year older than me, but she's old enough to get married at least. Wow, I didn't believe it at first, but my sister was finally getting married! I've never been happier, well, at times like these anyway.

In fact, the reason she came home was actually because of the marriage. 2 months from now, EEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'm so happy for her!

"My sister is getting married…wow, I can't believe that just a year ago I was still the one who helped you plan your dates for you!" I disbelievingly said, smiling as I gave Mira a thumbs up. "Luck is at your side my frie—I mean sister."

Mira chuckled and shook her head, "No, it's more like, 'Lucy is at my side, and she will be beside me on my wedding too'. Get it?"

"No way! You're making me your bridesmaid?!"

She smirked at my gaping face. "I don't see why not."

"As long as I'm not wearing a dress and won't be the one to catch the boquet, I'm in!"

"You're gonna spill your tea!" Mira exclaimed as she pointed at my cup that is dangerously placed on the edge of the coffee table, but I was too overjoyed to care. "Lucy behave!"

"Hai! Your wish is my command bride-to-be!" I mocked a salute and sat back down. Tucking a strand of blonde hair behind my ear I placed a few cookies on the floor in case Plue wanted any, he disappeared some time ago so I just left them there in case he came back.

"Seriously…" Her weird gaze came back after a few minutes of silence. I still don't know what she's planning, I thought she was planning on telling me about her wedding, but she's been giving me that look for quite some time now, even after she told me about her marriage. It's weird, and I don't understand what she's trying to do.

"Lucy."

"Yeah?"

"Make something up."

"Huh?"

She just smiled. "I hope it helps you."

* * *

_**.**_

_**~L~**_

_**.**_

* * *

"Okay…"

This…is what she meant? Like…right now…this is what she wants me to make up something about?!

IS SHE FREAKIN' KIDDING ME?!

Like, right now, I'm currently hugging NATSU DRAGNEEL by his waist tightly.

And he's hugging me back! He perfectly knew that love letter lie was not real, what kind of popular guy would send a love letter? A NON-EXISTENT MAN, THAT'S WHAT!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

But…I hugged him tighter.

He, he really did want to die. No, why is he doing this to himself…?

It's…it's too cruel.

"It's just too cruel…" I quietly whispered. Despite how good I was at acting, I didn't pretend when I saw him walking towards his death. I cried immensely, my sudden increase in weeping probably the reason that caused him to stiffen.

No one should hate their life so much to the point of doing-no, WANTING this. It's…it's just not right! It's just not…I cried harder.

What he almost did scared me to the point that I can't even find the words to think about…

Dying…this word must mean so much to him huh…? I…I was actually right about him? He doesn't want to live anymore…no. NO!

That's not—that's—that's just wrong! No one could get anything out of dying, it's just supposed to make everything worse! Doesn't he have a family?! Why is he so willing to leave this world when there could be people he loves so much?! People he cherishes?! I'm not taking him not loving anybody for an excuse. That's not true, everybody loves somebody, he knows that. He _should _know that…doesn't he care at all?!

His eyes…don't those eyes see what's most important in living?!

His heart, doesn't he understand that it beats for a reason?! That he _lives _for a reason?!

.

.

.

This…this is exactly why I want to help him. I-I just can't stand this kind of need.

Mira…she planned this? She knew…?

_She just smiled. "I hope it helps you."_

Helps…I smiled.

_Thank you Mira._

"I'll be the best girlfriend you'll ever have, you'll see." I muttered against him. This way might be risky but…

It could change his mind.

I'm holding on to that possibility.

* * *

**A/N: Rush, rush, rush, RUSH! Who hates being rushed? I know I do.**

**So my laptop got stolen for 3 days…and when I got it back I was so overjoyed to see that I haven't lost this chapter T.T I did lose the documents where I put my plots in though, and a part of me died because of that. Luckily I wrote the plotline for this story on my notebook but for my other stories…I have some rewriting to do.**

**Because of that…this story would be most likely the one I'm gonna focus on more at the moment. I lost…I lost everything, damn it. Fuck robbers, fuck them to hell!**

**Anyway, I hope you guys liked this chapter! The end's a bit rushed though, I don't like it T.T But it's your opinion I'm asking for not mine so… **

**Just in case you guys would ask, yes, Mira plays a big part to the storyline. This chapter is actually mainly supposed to show how great friends Mira and Lucy are, I hope I portrayed it well. If I didn't please say so so I could bathe myself in self pity.**

**Review! It helps!**

**Ja ne!**

**~Shoyukine**


	4. Chapter 3(N&L): Hiding Pasts

_**Chapter 3**_

_**.**_

_**~N~**_

_**.**_

_**Hiding Pasts**_

* * *

One of the weirdest things about teenagers is that they tend to look up to their ceilings, stare until they figure out some sort of conclusion to their unimaginable number of thoughts; search for answers.

Natsu couldn't take his eyes off the blank white wall above him. His head swirled around, competing with everything else, giving him no space for organizing the thoughts themselves. The more questions came, the more messed up his head becomes.

His two hands finally came up to his face and broke off his internal fight. His fingers covered just below his eyes. Natsu's eyes searched the ceiling again, but instead of staying in one place it rattled. He was very confused. Everything that happened, all of the things that transpired…they were just too much. For him, anyway, but who knows? Maybe even Gramps would get all crazy being in his shoes.

The teen shook the thought off, finding it ridiculous, but can you blame him? He was under a very, very _unusual_ situation, it was aggravating.

One minute he was thinking about how stupid everything was(that's life for ya), then about how he couldn't have been so naïve to think that his own cousin would offer an answer to his suicidal thoughts. One thought would come up after another, break his head into pieces that he couldn't put back together…he'd guess what the final view would be though, and the first and only guess was always this…Lucy girl.

Lucy…love letter…it had Mirajane written all over it, but he didn't know how or even _why. _He didn't get it, the word 'why' had always been his guide before taking his path, but right now it just keeps giving him the wrong signs. Why is Mirajane doing this to him? Why is his brain being picked at by that woman?

_Why_ is that Lucy girl involved?

The sigh came out when Natsu sat up. His eyes scavenged his dimly lit room, as it was 5 in the morning based on his clock, then finding his uniform finally, neatly hung by the closet doors. He dragged his feet over the edge of the bed, then stretched before preparing to take a shower.

As he went up to take his clothes, Natsu pulled at them expecting to take them all in his hand, but instead the hanger the uniform was on also pulled at the closet doors. Natsu's breath almost hitched, seeing it scattered among the clothes he decided never to use.

The sun came peeking into his windows, it's rays shone on it, and Natsu's eyes dimmed into it's onyx color.

"_You should have just—!"_

"_N—"_

"_WHY DIDN'T YOU?!"_

_Why…_

"_IF YOU CAN'T—"_

_Why's a question in itself huh?_

"—_YOURSELF!"_

Natsu closed the closet.

* * *

"I know, I know…yes I'll look after myself,"

"Pft, like you'd ever do that."

"Shut up," Natsu sneered, covering his phone, "mind your own business."

His friend just scoffed and did it anyway.

Natsu sighed and returned to his phone, "Anyway…yes I was talking to Gray…WHAT?! I'm not gay, he is! …sure, when I die tomorrow."

"I hope you do,"

"Shush it,"

"_Ah, young men these days,"_ Natsu heard Ms. Spetto say from the other end, _"So, she should be arriving today soon. Remember, be nice to her, especially since I can't be here for the next few weeks."_

"Yes Ms—"

"_**Mom**__,"_

"—yes, Mom."

"_Oh! My flight's here. Gotta go now, take care!"_ The call ended.

"He won't," Gray snorted, working on his sculpture. Natsu turned his phone off and resumed his own work.

"You've really gotta stop talking one day," Natsu paused for a second, then shrugged, "No wait, on second thought, I'll call Uncle right now and get ya a spot on Alvin and the chipmunks,"

"Shut up,"

"Exactly."

Gray groaned and paused at his work to rub his temples, "Look Natsu…why are you even here?" He asked, clearly agitated, Natsu only rose a brow.

"What do you mean?"

"Your Arts class is in Future Professionals dumbass. The room right next to this wall. AFP." The raven-haired man said, patting at the wall beside him, "Why the hell are you here? This is ABS, Arts for Beginner Students!"

"Lower your voice Fullbuster," Miss Bisca warned as she passed by their table.

The boy lowered his head and muttered a 'sorry'.

Natsu paused from his dragon sketches and said, "So? Bisca barely notices anybody here. I've been skipping classes here for like, what? 2 years? And besides…something weird happened yesterday,"

"Let me guess, nothing endangered your life yesterday?"

"Not actually…my life just almost went extinct."

Gray accidentally chipped off the nose of his ice sculpture's face, eyes widening in shock. "Shit…" He looked at his failure and glanced at Natsu again, "Seriously?!" He whisper-shouted.

"Yeah."

"Wait a minute, what exactly happened? Were you planning to do it on your own or?"

"Actually—"

"Sorry I'm late!" A girl barges into the room.

Natsu's breath hitched at the sight of blonde hair.

Without thinking, he stood up abruptly.

"Lu—!"

_Lu…_

"_Whatever happens next, just go along with it."_

"Mr. Dragneel?" At the sound of his name Natsu snapped out of it. He looked towards the source and saw Miss Bisca, eyebrows knitted at him. "Why are you here? Shouldn't you be at Future Professionals?"

"Um, well—" He whipped his head towards the girl.

He sighed, it wasn't her.

Natsu didn't notice Miss Bisca approaching until she was right in front of him. "Well?"

"Uh…" He looked to Gray and the teen shrugged back. Natsu scoffed silently. _The traitor_. "You see I…"

"You know what, I'll save you the explanation." She says, waving him off and motioning towards his bag. "Just take your things and proceed to your respective class."

"O-Okay…" Natsu spared a glance at the girl one more time before glaring at Gray. Picking up his bag, he nodded to Miss Bisca before leaving.

He stepped into the empty hallways, gritting his teeth. _Damn that guy, _Natsu thought. He was more than pissed, that stupid idiot knew he had no intention whatsoever to return to that boring ass classroom. If he didn't know any better, he could have gone and bore himself to death, but nope, too bad, he knew better.

"This sucks…" Natsu murmured, walking pass the AFP classroom he was supposed to go. Cutting classes were common for him but hey, he didn't need to get any smarter than he already was, he knew that much.

Although, at the back of his mind, he could've sworn he saw a familiar blond-haired girl through the AFP classroom door's small window.

This time, he was wrong because he brushed the feeling off.

* * *

**_._**

**_~L~_**

**_._**

* * *

"…artfilia-san…filia-sa…Heartfilia-san!"

Her eyes shot open.

"This is NOT the time to do a dance around the flowers in dreamland, you've got an assignment coming!" The old and cranky arts teacher scolded, but Lucy ignored her and yawned, loudly. The unladylike action got the class' attention, including the teacher. "W-What's this, Miss Heartfilia has taken a rebelling turn…?"

Lucy blinked at the staring faces. "Hm…?"

'_Wait…'_, she suddenly thought, _'staring faces…'_.

"I-I-I—!" Lucy stammered out, full awareness and consciousness coming back to her. "U-Um I-I—ah! I, um…have been s-staying u-u-up all n-night studyi—I'M SORRY." She stood up and bowed down, but without noticing it, her head dropped down even further than she'd liked and ended up bumping into her desk.

The teacher gasped, "Oh my…must have been a long night…"

Lucy stood straight, rubbing at her forehead, and unconsciously her bagged eyes as well. "I-I'm sorry…I'll p-pay better at-t-tentio—"

"No, that's enough. You need rest. You're too out of yourself." The class nodded in agreement, not used to seeing the stiff but incredibly attentive Lucy Heartfilia all worn out. She smiled uneasily.

"S-Should I go h-home…?"

"Just sleep in the infirmary. It's only first period, get some rest 'till lunch break. I'll excuse you. Go on." The teacher pushed her out of the classroom. The blonde could only bow her head down in shame as she walked the empty halls towards the infirmary. She never got sleep-deprived before, sleeping was an automatic system of her body once she laid down on a bed. The night before, she never could have imagined this would happen.

Lucy sighed at the memory.

Thoughts of what had happened…they wouldn't leave her alone. She tried listening to music, even calling Levy from time to time, but what had happened the week before wouldn't leave her head. Nights were spent on thinking about what she'd do or how she should face him. It didn't help that the thought of him finding out that they were in the same school frightened her. If she enrolled somewhere else, this could have been avoided and forgotten of quickly, but no use. She knew he was here and that they'd have to face sooner or later…if he even remembered her. Lucy shook her head, trying to forget the weird events once again, but it only got her dizzy.

When she regained balance, she decided. Avoiding him would be the best course of action. For now, though, she'll just rest.

A sigh of relief came out as soon as she found the infirmary door. Lucy didn't hesitate in sliding it open, eager to get some sleep. She took off her glasses and walked to one curtain where she was sure her wonderfully awaited bed was placed. Bliss in her chest, she slid the curtains open.

And immediately regretted it.

Lying down on her 'long awaited bed', was the very man she was planning to avoid.

Natsu Dragneel.

The blonde's face paled into white. _He's here,_ were her repeating thoughts. The memories of spending endless nights thinking about what to do came to her mind.

Then the realization that she couldn't possibly go anywhere else. Going back to class is a no, going outside is definitely a no, and looking for another infirmary is ridiculous.

Escape was futile.

Then she finally thought, _'Lucy…you've sunk.'_

Natsu moved in his sleep, snapping Lucy out of her self-pity party. She thought of closing the curtains, but if she did that it'd make a loud screeching sound on top of the bed. It was a miracle enough that she managed to open them without waking up the sleeping teen at all. Lucy looked around and saw that the other bed was beside the side she opened the curtain in. She could've thought, why not the other side then?

Unfortunately, Natsu's bed was by the wall.

Lucy sighed.

_Not only have you sunk, but your stupidity sunk with you._

The bed remaining had no curtains, which relieved Lucy a little bit, but the thought was immediately brought down when she realized how exposed she could be. Although…she doesn't really have a choice. The blonde sighed once again, laying down, not caring anymore at all about her situation. Honestly, at this moment, she just really wanted to sleep, with or without Natsu just one bed apart from her.

She fidgeted around until her position was facing him.

This decision was unknown to her, but she concluded that she'd let her idiocy go just this once.

Lucy inwardly called herself an idiot and took off her glasses. She reached for the side table between their beds and tried to place it as gently as possible, careful not to make it sound.

Silence.

Relief washed over her. Feeling proud of herself she was about to retreat her hand back when all of a sudden, her hand was grabbed.

Grabbed by Natsu Dragneel's own hand.

"W-Wha—?" She gasped out, but wondered why he didn't make a sound after that. Lucy looked to him even with slightly blurred vision and without needing clarity, knew he was still sleeping.

'_That…that was too sudden…' _She thought, and looked to her hand. His own…it was holding hers with strength she couldn't understand.

'_Is he seriously sleeping right now?' _She thought, confused out of her wits. Even in sleep, he could manage to hold onto something so tightly?

…

Even in sleep…

"_Good night Lucy…I'll be right here…"_

…he could hold on to something so tightly and not let go…

Lucy's eyes blinked softly a few times before closing completely.

"You know…" She whispered, feeling his hand still holding hers.

…_tightly…_

"…_mommy…?"_

Lucy smiled sadly as sleep enveloped her, "…I seriously envy you…"

* * *

_**Hello**_

_**I'm alive**_

_***crickets***_

_**Well, yeah, this bastard writer is still alive and active so deal with it.**_

_**School's seriously got me this time. It's summer now though, SO I'M PUMPED UUUUUP! Sooo~ happy! I miss my stories really, these unfinished pieces of **** will finally be written. BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA so good to be back.**_

_**Anyway, hope you enjoyed this useless chapter that I randomly thought up(lol just kidding this has been a draft for more than you think) It's just a warm up for me since my chest has been feeling painful just thinking about my future plans for this story. DON'T WORRY, I'M REALLY REALLY FOCUSSEEEEDDD**_

_**Thank you for reading, leave a review(I accept angry ones because I've kept you guys waiting ;OwO)**_

_**Ja ne~**_

_**Shoyukine**_


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